Nothing is as it was. Everything you once thought you knew about yourself no longer feels true, and your life is beginning to reflect the dissonance between what was and what is. Emotions are rising and you’re experiencing a need to grieve yet, at the same time, a resistance to grieving because the very essence of grief makes this real. It feels like someone pulled out a string of yarn, causing your perfectly tight ball of yarn to completely unravel. And that someone is you.
You cannot unsee what you now see.
This is how awareness works. The more you expand your awareness, the more you see. The more you see, the more you can’t unsee. It’s your inner work that has led you to this unraveling.
Welcome to your season of death.
Like all things in life, parts of you must die in order to be reborn. This isn’t a literal death and rebirth, but it can definitely feel like one. This is the death of what you knew yourself and your life to be. From your identity to your relationships to your work or business… The perfect constructs of your life no longer feel perfect. Instead, you feel suppressed within these constructs and are desperate to feel free.
While many people in the personal and spiritual development industries preach about the beauty of death and rebirth, this is another perspective–one that is aligned with the reality of what we experience when we’re truly navigating a season of death.
This season is messy, and painful, and can leave you feeling confused and alone. You're seeing your life through a new lens of clarity which can feel shocking at times because you’re now seeing what you once couldn’t see, or didn’t want to see. But you’re seeing this now because you’re finally ready to see it, despite how unready you may feel.
The identity that you once carried is an identity that you designed as a self-preservation tactic. It’s an identity that is deeply influenced by those who raised you (or didn’t raise you), the culture and religion that you were brought into, and our societal programming. It’s an identity that served you… until it became a disservice to you. This is the identity that you are unraveling from, and the grief that comes with this is real.
This is the version of you that you’ve known for so long. It may even be a version of you that you’ve become quite attached to. It’s the version of you that others know you to be, hence why you’re simultaneously unraveling from relationships. You may have even built your career around this former self, which is why you’re also experiencing this sense of unraveling within your work.
The grief is real and it’s something that you must experience in its fullest depths so you can move through this season, however long it will take. This isn’t about rushing the process so you can be reborn–this is about honoring all that you once were, and the life that you once lived. This is about honoring yourself and your journey.
If you find yourself in this season of death, know that you are not alone. Many people in our collective are currently navigating similar seasons. As we continue to witness the world we once knew, slip away, and the illusions of this once cherished world become more clear, we are also witnessing the same within us. Our self-created illusions are now something that we can no longer ignore. We have to recognize these illusions within ourselves so that we can create an opportunity to meet our true selves.
This is the invitation at hand–to meet yourself and your truth and to cultivate a profound understanding of who you are beneath the identities and illusions that you’ve carried for so long, while grieving the version of you that you once knew.
As difficult as this season is, be with it. Be with the pain of letting go, be with the confusion, and be with the mystery of what’s to come. Do this with grace and faith, knowing that you are seen and supported every step of the way. Trust the process of unraveling and unbecoming. Feel the grief and the glory. Surround yourself only with people who support you. And honor this season, for it is one that is leading you back to you.
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“It may even be a version of you that you’ve become quite attached to. It’s the version of you that others know you to be, hence why you’re simultaneously unraveling from relationships. You may have even built your career around this former self, which is why you’re also experiencing this sense of unraveling within your work.”
This part hit me hard - specifically about building your career around this former self. I’m working on figuring out how to go from here...me now.
Thank you :)