Building on Vitality, Not Trauma

How I’m piecing myself back together in a way that holds, heals, and sustains.

I was talking to one of my best friends, Bec, about this past year and how challenging it’s been. This is the first time I’ve ever fully stepped away from my business. Although I’ve dipped my toes in and out of it over the past month, I continue to feel as if my foundation isn’t strong enough yet — as if I’m in the space between the season that shattered me, and a season where I thrive.

I’ve been devoted to my healing and my trauma education for the past three years, with this year feeling like the most amplified year for healing and studying. Both feel like full-time jobs, consuming the remnants of my depleted energy and internal resources. And then Bec shared this one thing, and everything made sense… she said:

“This is a year of stabilizing and studying.”

As uncertain and confusing as my health and life path feel right now, this statement feels profoundly true. Hearing her say this alleviated some of the pressure I’ve been putting on myself to build again, because honestly, I don’t have the capacity to do so, and I have yet to grasp what I am creating. All I know is that the next season of my life and work will be far different than what I once knew and what I’ve been known for. Of course, there will be threads of my old life woven into this new chapter, but the whole tapestry of what I am weaving has yet to make itself known.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is pause long enough to rebuild on what nourishes you, not what broke you.

There are things that I know for certain, and many things that feel unknown. There are things that I am still learning and practicing — new tools and modalities that I love, which are begging to be part of my work. However, the full body of my work has yet to actualize itself because I am still stabilizing myself through healing and learning.

It’s been the most challenging year of my life, for many reasons…

My physical health is still a mystery, and every day is different. I can go from feeling good to total body collapse in just one day. I don’t share much about my physical health because I don’t want to be subjected to the opinions and judgments of others, nor do I want (or need) the unsolicited advice.

My emotional health is a rollercoaster ride due to C-PTSD flare-ups and a complete depletion of hormones. It becomes accelerated at times due to the lack of support that I’ve felt and experienced, but also in times where I have found myself giving to others when my capacity is thin, because who am I if I don’t give to others? (This is something that I am still working on in therapy.)

My mental health is my biggest frustration as I’ve been struggling with decreased cognitive function for the past three years, with the last nine months being the most drastic. Being in three different educational programs at this time has felt like the most insane thing for me to do, but this has also provided me with something to anchor onto. These days, it may take me an entire week or month to digest a single video or training session fully, but I also feel inspired because I am paving the way for a new season. I’m doing this for me, and that feels good.

The battles that I am facing behind the scenes are all-consuming. And most days, I struggle to do the simplest tasks… but I’m moving through it all with as much grace as possible. After my kiss with death earlier this year, I made the conscious decision to live.

And this is what most people don’t see…

I am fighting for my life every single day. But my fight doesn’t always look like a battle, and I don’t necessarily look like someone who is wounded, which is why I believe I am so often misjudged or misunderstood these days.

Fighting for my life means that I'm devoting all of my energy and resources to my healing and education, so I can feel better while bettering myself. It looks like setting boundaries and honoring my needs, even when it’s hard. Fighting for my life means that I am hyper-focused on doing everything I need to do to live, so yes, this means stabilization.

Fighting for your life doesn’t always look like a battle—it often looks like slowing down long enough to heal.

I’m strong and resilient, but I’m also soft, vulnerable, and crave support. My strength and resilience were forged through trauma, which in turn shaped my life and career path. I used to praise myself for my ability to create success through hard work, and while others applauded my success, they didn’t see the trauma that drove me to be ambitious.

I am slowly putting the pieces of my shattered being back together, but in a new way. Rather than build on top of the strength and resilience that were forged out of trauma, I want to build on top of my life force and vitality.

This is a year of stabilizing and studying — a year that has me supporting myself in more profound ways so that I can be held by my foundation, instead of sinking into it. And with that comes new depths of patience because I realize that this won’t and cannot happen overnight.

It takes courage to choose patience and presence over pressure and timelines.

It’s taking a lot longer than I ever imagined, and with the support of my best friends, husband, and therapist, I’m learning to forego all timelines in exchange for absolute presence on this journey. I may not be thriving yet, but with continued devotion and effort, I will be. This is simply a season between seasons — one that has me slowing down, pausing, reflecting, and learning.

And as I’ve learned in this lifetime, every season serves a purpose. The slowdown is just as significant as the momentum.

#PotentTruth:
True strength is found
not in pushing forward,
but in surrendering to
the season that asks
you to slow down.

If you appreciate this article, subscribe and share it with a friend. If you find value in my writing, consider pledging your support by hitting the “PLEDGE YOUR SUPPORT” button at the top right of this page.

With Gratitude,

P.S.
Please share any insights in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you.

---

Why Subscribe?

I don’t offer quick fixes—I dive deep into the layers of healing and transformation, unpacking the nuances of leadership and growth through a lens that honors the nervous system and the soul. If you're seeking grounded insights, honest conversations, and a more integrated path forward, you’re in the right place. Subscribers will receive newly written articles directly in their inbox.

*FULL TRANSPARENCY: I occasionally use ChatGPT to assist with article titles; however, all articles are written by me, not generated by AI.

If you appreciate this content, please consider pledging your support.

—

In a digital world overburdened with information, I am deeply humbled that you chose to view my content.

Thank you for being here.

Share Potent Truth with a friend.

Follow me on Instagram.

Grab a copy of my book here.